I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I want a musical about memes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
