They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
