I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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