I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
