Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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