I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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