NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize