Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
