whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
