Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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