god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize