Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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