Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
