Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
