sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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