So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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