with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
