I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think my moral compass just broke
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize