question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
