that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
