i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
should my penis look like a turkey
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
