Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
