Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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