I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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