**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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