laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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