I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
