that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
