Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
