don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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