it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
