Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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