I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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