using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
