I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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