Already got asked if we're dating
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
did i walk over a car last night?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize