did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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