pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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