She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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