Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
