do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
