I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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