Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
