just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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