She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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