Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
