and she was petting her beer can
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
