Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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