I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
