he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
