WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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