that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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