he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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