Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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