maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
time to smoke my breakfast
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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