so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
