Is it because I queefed?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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